Wet and windy in the House!
by Graham Smith

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Time to slack off
The country has enjoyed a National Slacker’s Day.

Some half wit decided that we should all have a day slobbed out in front of the TV, skive off work, drink too much and generally behave like a bunch of morons. It was a different day for many who took part. The House of Commons carried on as normal.

The final curtain
One man has been killed and another seriously injured after sarcastically applauding a Philippines karaoke singer’s off-key rendition of ‘My Way’.

Jofre Valente was shot three times outside the Honey Joy karaoke bar in Manila. His friend was shot once.

Local bars have begun banning the Frank Sinatra classic as it seems to start fights. Mr Valente’s murder is the second triggered by the song in recent months.

Altogether now: “And so the end is near and so I face the final curtain…” I didn’t think it was that bad.

Snake and chips

Part of the recent Chinese New Year celebrations in China involved performers passing a snake through their nose and out of their mouths.

Now whoever tries that is a bit of a noodle and I’m right off the beansprouts at the moment, you never know where they’ve been.

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