Wet and windy in the House!
by Graham Smith

Page 3 of 3

His lips are sealed!
A newlywed husband in southern India has stitched his lips together after his wife ordered him to stop swearing during sex.

His wife said she was sick of his habit and told him to shut up.

She says he looked like a monkey when she found him and wonders if she’s married the right man. Well she’s not much of a wife if he has to stitch his own lips – and who’s going to darn his socks?

One lump or two
The United Arab Emirates has staged its first camel beauty contest.

The National Consultative Council in Abu Dhabi organised the contest to show the nation’s love for the animal.

The pageant offered the equivalent of £19,000 prize money. Categories included best adult, best under-two-year-old and best stud.

Naomi Campbell withdrew, a spokesman said she had the hump.

Play misty for me
A businessman in Italy has started selling tins of fog he collects in his home village.Former painter Giorgio Valentinuzzi, from Rivignano, decided to start selling it when he was told it’s the wettest in Italy.

He grabs the fog with coffee tins which he then seals. Each tin costs £1.30. He’s donating half the cash to charity, The Italian Full Frontal Lobotomy Research Council.

Graham Smith can be contacted by e-mail at [email protected] or by phone on 07092 103738, for ideas about having a laugh at life, internationally, nationally, regionally or locally.

Do you have a story about the regional press? Ring 0116 227 3122/3121, or
e-mail [email protected]

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