Hi, hi blackbird
by Graham Smith

Page 3 of 3

Similar lenses have been used in films such as Star Wars, The Phantom Menace and Lord of the Rings.

I can’t understand them going to this expense. Bar staff normally have red eyes and most of the customers are seeing pink elephants so why bother?

Spineless behaviour
A sacked US postman has been jailed for throwing buckets of porcupine faeces, worms and parasites over former colleagues. Consignia take note.

James Beal threw three buckets of the mixture over three staff members at the Empire Post Office.

He claims he was sacked for no good reason.

He was jailed for 18 months in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and ordered to pay about £7,000 in fines and court costs. I suppose he got the point.

Boiling point
Just sometimes they come out with a beauty that could cause incontinence in a goldfish.

Read this one carefully, twice, and think of the old postcard gag: “No Nurse I said prick his boil…”

“Prostitutes belonging to the International Union of Sex Workers have voted to join the General Municipal Boilmakers union.

They hope to improve their pay and working conditions by enlisting with Britain’s fourth largest union.

The union will represent those working in the sex industry, including prostitutes, lap dancers and massage parlour workers.”

These words were written in a leading news agency release. Er, I think they missed something out.

Graham Smith can be contacted by e-mail at [email protected] or by phone on 07092 103738, for ideas about having a laugh at life, internationally, nationally, regionally or locally.

Do you have a story about the regional press? Ring 0116 227 3122/3121, or
e-mail [email protected]

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