Trying to connect you!
by Graham Smith

Page 3 of 3

Seems World Cup Willy has taken on a whole different meaning.

You’re the first, you’re the shark, my everyfin
Sharks are to be serenaded by Barry White at The National Sea Life Centre in Birmingham as part of an experiment to help them mate.

Big Barry’s crooning is hopefully going to give them something to get their teeth into. His love songs and other romantic tunes will be pumped into tanks containing dogfish, starry smooth hounds and tope after

American scientists said fish really appreciate and can identify different types of music.

In the general scale of things I think that’s pretty silly.

Puckering up for love!
A newlywed husband in southern India has stitched his lips together after his wife ordered him to stop swearing during lovemaking.

Apparently the wife said she was sick of his habit and told him to shut up. She says he looks like a monkey and wonder’s if she married the right man.

By the sound of it she’d have been more suited to an oranutang herself.

Vetting for barmpots
Candidates for a veterinary science course at Cambridge University were asked if the moon was made of cheese.

The survey of 1,000 Oxbridge graduates also shows that Oxford law students were asked to compare Timotei and Tesco own-brand shampoos. Fifty per cent said they tasted just the same.

Heifer coiffure in style
Farmers in Switzerland have been banned from using hairspray on cows at agricultural shows.

Breeders in Emmental have been using spray and gel to spruce up their stock to look their best. Oh come on pull the udder one, this is just not the dung thing.

Courses on how to perfectly style cows are even offered by farmers’ associations across the country.

Graham Smith can be contacted by e-mail at [email protected] or by phone on 07092 103738, for ideas about having a laugh at life, internationally, nationally, regionally or locally.

Do you have a story about the regional press? Ring 0116 227 3122/3121, or
e-mail [email protected]

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