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Hair we go

Football’s no longer a game of two halves – more a game of two haircuts.

First there was Ginola and his “Wash’n’Go” adverts, then there were the World Cup players who thought it would be a wheeze to stick their heads in the dye, and last weekend we had the spectacle of former player-turned-pundit Rodney Marsh having his head shaved on the pitch as pre-match entertainment.

In Aberdeen, Evening Express football writer Charlie Allan has been locked in a war of words with Dons striker Arild Stavrum which has culminated in the Norwegian hitman shaving off his hair and threatening to send the shorn locks to Charlie to stick on his own head.

Arild, previously noted for his curly, golden locks, took exception to Charlie calling him a “long-haired striker” in a report which slated his performance in Aberdeen’s 2-0 defeat by Hibs.

The row deepened when a Norwegian journalist, who lifted information off the Evening Express website, wrote a story with extra spin suggesting that Arild was set to be sacked.

When this follow-up story was read by Arild’s mum, she was far from happy, and Arild felt compelled to write on his own website: “My hair! What does that have to do with football?”

Arild also resorted to jibes about Charlie’s weight, spilling hamburger sauce on his notes and suggested he might have made a better career choice by becoming a doughnut taster.

But Arild was happy to show off his new look on the back page of the Evening Express, and Charlie says if he does receive the hair he’ll use it as a competition prize.

Charlie also told readers: “Here’s hoping Arild’s haircut acts like Samson’s in reverse and restores the goal-scoring instincts that have deserted him so far this season.”

Meanwhile, over at the Grimsby Telegraph, reporter Joe Lumley has been considering the effect hair styles have on footballers’ skills.

He wondered in print whether his colleague, and co-writer of the newspaper’s Boys About Town football column, Dave Laister should consider sporting an heroic ponytail to improve the performance of his own team of no-hopers Mariners Intonet FC.

After all, he wrote, David Seaman seemed to have borrowed Emmanuel Petit’s rubber band when the Arsenal goalkeeper emerged sporting a ponytail this season.

But he commented: “This pony tail, unlike Emmanuel Petit’s, is a smug ponytail. It is an ‘I’m still hip’ statement from an ageing pro.”

This train of thought led him to muse on classic hair styles of footballers down the years from Valderama’s “Don King Super Fly 70s gangster hairstyle” to George Best’s “Fifth Beatle” cut and the original pineapple head Jason Lee.

He concluded: “So come on Dave, give us a giggle. Ditch the short, back and sides and the extortionate hair gel and grow a butch, unkempt ponytail to give Mariners Intonet FC a fighting chance this season.”

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