Regional press news – this story published 2.8.2007

Rule Three: Never, Ever, Volunteer. For Anything.
By Hugh Dixon

Bath Chronicle web editor Hugh Dixon may have been a little rash in volunteering to write a new column, Digital Life.
Perhaps he should have taken more notice of Rule Three: ‘Never, Ever, Volunteer. For Anything.’

There are three basic rules in journalism. They’re drilled into wet-behind-ears cub reporters by wrinkled old news editors, who subsequently repeat them down the pub, Ancient Mariner-like, to anyone who hangs around too long without buying the next round.

They’re engraved on the heart of every kindly newspaper proprietor, and even on the hearts of those less-than-kindly ones who dress up as cardinals or jump ship with the pension fund in their pockets.

They’re simple rules, they’re memorable rules, and they work. They are as follows.

Rule One: Never Assume Anything Is True Unless You’ve Checked It Yourself.

Rule Two: People Who Write Letters In Green Ink Are Mad.

Rule Three: Never, Ever, Volunteer. For Anything.

I’ve carefully followed all three rules throughout my semi-distinguished career in newspapers, and they’ve served me well – in particular rule number three.

So when the esteemed editor was looking for someone to fill Georgette McCready’s Tuesday columnist spot, I stared fixedly out of the conference room window at Chronicle Towers and tried not to let him catch my eye.

Unfortunately, there’s a fourth rule: The Boss Is Always Right. So when said Mr H decided I was the right person for the job, I had to assume he was correct. And in doing so I inadvertently broke that first rule of journalism – Never Assume – and consequently have only myself to blame for what follows.

With me so far? Good.