Spend a few hours in any courtoom and the chances are you’ll hear a daft question or an even dafter answer.

Someone, bless them, has gone to the trouble of writing down some of these gems and putting them together on the Guardian Unlimited website. Below is just a sample. For more, click here

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth
Q: What year?
Q: A: Every year.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, “where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

And from America….

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So the date of the conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at the time?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

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