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News editor had to take early retirement due to mum’s dementia

A former news editor has opened up about how she had to take early retirement from a regional daily because of her mother’s dementia struggle.

Lisa Roland, who ran the newsdesk at the Manchester Evening News until 2017, has spoken out about her experience of caring for someone living with Alzheimer’s disease.

Her mother Jill was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s while still a full-time carer for Lisa’s father Norm, a retired freelance journalist who also suffered from vascular dementia.

In a piece for the MEN to mark Dementia Action Week, Lisa has now revealed the toll the diagnosis took on her family.

Lisa Roland, left, with her mother Jill

Lisa Roland, left, with her mother Jill

In her piece, Lisa wrote: “Life changed for all of us… although mum didn’t really recognise that.

“I ended up taking early retirement as it was just impossible to juggle my job as a news editor on the MEN with looking out for her.

“The final decider had come when I was preparing for afternoon news conference one day. My mobile went and it was dad’s fantastic daytime carer, Shirley, anxiously whispering that mum had let two cold callers in to measure the windows in his bedroom – with him still in bed.

“Apparently she had her cheque book out and was discussing a deposit for the windows in the entire house to be replaced. She put me on to mum and I managed to get her to stop any agreement immediately and they grumpily left.”

Lisa’s mobile then rang again “with the editor beckoning me to come to the afternoon conference with everyone else gathered waiting”.

She added: “This time it was my parents’ eagle-eyed neighbour. There was a team of men jet washing their drive and garden paths. Two trucks had pulled up and the neighbour had seen Mum talking to the boss. Within minutes they were out of the vans and washing everything within sight.

“The wonderful neighbour had gone out and engaged the boss in gentle conversation and, through her cunning, was able to discover mum had agreed to pay £300.

“Quick call to mum – apparently they were doing the drive for nothing. She agreed it was unusual but urged me’“not to stick my nose in’ or they would stop.

“Long story short, to avoid her being harassed or confused by the whole business, I spoke politely to the gaffer (via the neighbour) and agreed to meet him the next day on the corner of Mum’s road to pay the money. Utter madness. Enough was enough. I felt like I was doing nothing in my life properly.”

Lisa went on to praise her colleagues and bosses at the MEN who “couldn’t have been more supportive” prior to her departure at the end of 2017.

Norm’s death later led to Jill being moved to a care home in a “heart-wrenching decision” for her family, with the pandemic later taking a toll on her physical health.

Discussing her mum’s passing, Lisa added: “It could have happened at any time. Mum had always wanted to die peacefully – ‘like an old person should’. So I suppose she got her wish.

“It doesn’t really make it any easier for the heartbroken family she has left behind. But despite not being religious there’s one image we cling to – and that’s the idea of her finally being reunited with her beloved Norm.”

Speaking to HTFP, she said: “It was hard to write about something so deeply personal but I was bowled over by the response – from MEN readers as well as dementia organisations and friends who I’d lost touch with over the years.

“It makes you realise just how many people are affected by this disease.”