As previously reported by HTFP, Paul left in a restructure by the paper’s new owner Trinity Mirror, which also saw Harlow Star editor Ken Morley depart as well as Herts & Essex Newspapers’ group features editor and the Observer’s content editor.
Paul, 53, had edited the Observer for almost 10 years as part of a 33-year career with the former Iliffe-owned group.
The odd-numbered listicle, which contains some strong language, describes an incident which post took place on Monday 25 July, four days after his last day at the newspaper.
Initially posted on Paul’s Facebook page, he has given us permission to reproduce it and it reads as follows:
1. Wake up with a jolt at 5.15am, four days after you’ve been made redundant, and realise you still haven’t cleared your desk and emptied your drawers.
2. Drive to the office… about three hours earlier than you would if you still f****** worked there!
3. Pack up all the misshapen paper clips, dried-up elastic bands and Costa napkins you’ll need for the rest of your life in a big yellow DHL box
4. Carry the box outside to your car parked in the street, where NatWest workmen have coned off every bay around you, in preparation for the arrival of a very important skip, and are wondering where the f*** the owner of the crappy little Smart car is
5. THIS IS VITAL… leave ALL the keys that you possess, including the ones to your car and the office where you’re no longer welcome, ON THE F****** RECEPTION COUNTER AS THE DOOR SHUTS BEHIND YOU… FFS!!!!
6. Avoid eye contact with NatWest workmen, who are wondering if you’re the Smart car owner holding up arrival of their very important skip
7. With just 3pc charge left on your phone, text the 0.3 remaining members of the news team – an hour before any of them are due in – and *plead* with them to come and rescue their pathetic ex-boss
8. Sit on big yellow DHL box of paper clips, elastic bands and napkins outside office door for 25 minutes while a reporter graciously drives in early to let you back in, and pretend you’re a delivery driver waiting for the office to open and not an ex-employee who’s just s*** at leaving
9. Rock gently back and forth, holding your head in your hands and murmur within earshot of passers-by: “I used to be big in this town, I used to have a career in clickbait…”