AddThis SmartLayers

Heard the one about the reporter…?

Page 1 of 3

Ever fancied yourself as a stand-up comic?

A reluctant Lee Marlow was persuaded he had what it takes. But when he joined a stand-up course, what followed was more horror than comedy.

His article below was first published in the Leicester Mercury.


Hello, good evening and welcome to the worst day of my life. For six solid hours my cheeks were blushed an embarrassing shade of burning red. I felt so awkward, my toes were permanently curled into the balls of my feet.

And, as I was told more than once by my new-found wise-cracking pals, I didn’t know what to do with my hands.

Why? Because, against my better judgement, I was persuaded that spending the day at Leicester’s first course in stand-up comedy would make “a great feature”.

Amazingly, 11 others were prepared to sign up for the course, but at least they were partly experienced.

Some had played at the Edinburgh Festival. Some had done stand-up shows in front of a live audience. And they were all keen to fine-tune their comedy skills.

It was plain to see. In the room I will be revisiting regularly in future nightmares, I was the all-too obvious odd man out and, like a kamikaze pilot with his hands tied to the joystick, it was too late to back out.

“I’ll just kind of sit at the back and take some notes,” I said in a too-little too-late attempt at damage limitation. Compere Tony Allen was having none of it.

“You’re not sitting at the back,” he said slowly and sternly. “You’re taking part.”

So that was it. I can tell you that over the next two hours, in front of a group of people I’d never met before, I had to stand up and run through very poor and very loud impersonations of George the furry pink hippo from the kids television programme Rainbow, a jowl-wobbling Scooby Doo and a surreal Roy Rogers cowboy character.

I can try to describe to you how I felt as I was picked out to stand at the front of the stage, holding my arms awkwardly, eyes darting uncomfortably around the room, having to explain why I liked furry George from Rainbow, and then try to teach my third-rate impression to bewildered members of the class.

Next page…

Do you have a story for us?
Ring the HoldTheFrontPage newsdesk on
01332 291111 x6022, or to e-mail us now – click here