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Urban myths and the Taliban

A weekly column reproduced from the Bristol Evening Post


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Humour has always been a part of war, usually as propaganda aimed at deflating the enemy.

Remember Hitler’s alleged deficiency downstairs, or Charlie Chaplin’s film The Great Dictator.

We also often react to tragedies in a similar way. I heard the first Princess Diana “joke” within hours of her death. With the Twin Towers, it was different. At least a week passed before the first “funnies” began to reach an uncertain audience.

And with the internet, and with computer software programmes that allow you to manipulate pictures, once they’d started, they didn’t stop. Most were dire, but some were genuinely funny. I therefore make no apologies in bringing you some extracts of what’s on Taliban TV, courtesy of the world wide web.

(I’ve no idea who wrote this, but if they get in touch with the Editor of the Evening Post, he’ll send them a big cheque. Not.)

(a) TALIBAN TV

6.00 G-Had TV: Morning prayers; 8.30 Talitubbies: Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher; 9.00 Shouts of Praise: More prayers.

11.00 Jihad’s Army: The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist-backed infidels; 12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad!: Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects; 13.00 Xena, Modestly-dressed Housewife: Xena stays at home and does some cooking.

14.00 Only Fools and Camels: Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas; 14.30 Green Peter: The total number of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle-top appeal is revealed; 15.00 University Challenge: Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions. “Starter for ten, no praying.”

15.30 I Love 629: A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet’s entry into Mecca and the destruction of pagan idols; 17.00 Koranation Street: Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for committing adultery; 17.30 Middle-East Enders: The entire cast is jailed for un-Islamic behaviour.

There’s more…