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Unidentified Headline 94

Just whistle a happy tune!
by Graham Smith

Page 2 of 3

Back to Ronnie. He has a marvellous web site, and yes, it twitters at you when you log on. He plugs his book “Around the World on a Whistle”, which must be very painful without a cushion, and tells of how his melodious warblings once frightened Roy Rogers horse, Trigger, and got Marilyn Monroe all hot and bothered. Just goes to show you can’t keep these old hoofers and artistes down. I bet he’s a riot with the Maoris.

Tears to your eyes
A Romanian man is recovering in hospital after injecting his differentials with salty water!

The seriously deranged person thought they were too large so injected 10 millilitres of water where the sun doesn’t shine. Apparently the twit had once seen his father do the same thing with a goat. So what? Goats eat hawthorn hedges and march along with pretty coats on for army regiments, and you wouldn’t catch me doing that either.

Doctors do not know if the daft trick will affect his ability to have children, sorry kids.

The report added that the man had been taken to hospital and was “stable”…He should be in one.

Danish blue for the old folk
Old folks’ homes in Denmark are showing porn movies for their elderly residents.

Several homes have been showing the blue movies in communal areas on Saturday nights. Oh come on, this is not on. What’s wrong with Sale of the Century and Blind Date? It’s not that long since there were questions in the Commons when Sooty was introduced to a girl friend Soo and now those who should know better are being encouraged to get their zimmers in a twist.

It could be seriously injurious and they might not get their breath back in time for Michael Parkinson.

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