Incontinent with euronation
by Graham Smith

Page 3 of 3

Hard evidence
An Egyptian has been arrested after trying to smuggle 16,500 Viagra tablets out of Thailand.

Mogi Neer Saki was seized at the airport’s departure terminal with the pills hidden in his luggage. The airport? Bangkok of course.

Five star monkeys
Monkeys at an Indian zoo will no longer have their differentials frozen off in cold weather.

Thirty-five monkeys at Lucknow Zoo are to be given brandy to keep them warm. Before being given the brandy, which comes from a government store, the brandy will be watered down with warm water. I suppose petits fours and After Eight mints will be served in the gorilla compound.

Sinful chopper!
Beware of imported pickled gherkins from the Philippines.

A Filipino man cut off his penis with a machete because he thought it was leading him to sin. It was part of his conversion to Christianity. The family have been unable to find it.

Hung Parliament
The humanist party of Chile filmed a party political broadcast with two naked candidates.It was part of the party’s run up to an election and designed to boost its “naked” campaign.

Conservative Central office refused to comment on proposals that they intended to do the same but confirmed that Ian Duncan-Smith would be unable to stand due to the cold weather.

Graham Smith can be contacted by e-mail at [email protected] or by phone on 07092 103738, for ideas about having a laugh at life, internationally, nationally, regionally or locally.

Do you have a story about the regional press? Ring 0116 227 3122/3121, or
e-mail [email protected]

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