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Old pops can beat the idols
by Graham Smith

Page 3 of 3

The man won the pork chops in a raffle on a night out. Quite why he decided to strap them to his feet is not clear but someone playing pool says he slipped on the pork fat and broke two bones in his left arm.

Ready Steady Cook chef, Anthony Worrall Thompson, says it is much easier and safer to use a tenderising hammer on pork chops.

Tone is home
Londoners were shocked and amazed this week when Prime Minister Tony Blair was spotted in the capital.

However, it may be a short-lived visit, for it is rumoured that he intends taking an urgent flight back to Washington to show his mate President George Bush how to eat a pretzel without falling off the sofa and incurring third degree lacerations.

Bugs Bummy!
A man has been told he cannot claim medical costs after turning up at an emergency ward with a carrot stuck in a certain bodily orifice.

The 30-year-old man said he had been playing a game with his girl friend when the 20-centimetre vegetable snapped leaving most of it wedged where the sun doesn’t shine.

Doctors in Dubrovnik confirmed they had removed the carrot but said the man had to pay in cash because they were unable to claim through his health insurance plan.

Just be grateful he doesn’t grow marrows.


Graham Smith can be contacted by e-mail at [email protected] or by phone on 07092 103738, for ideas about having a laugh at life, internationally, nationally, regionally or locally.

Do you have a story about the regional press? Ring 0116 227 3122/3121, or
e-mail [email protected]

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