AddThis SmartLayers

Unidentified Headline 102

A weekly column reproduced from the Bristol Evening Post


Page 2 of 2

“Although a great admirer of Doris Lessing, I prefer the words of Margaret Atwood on relations between men and women. Men fear being laughed at by women. Women fear being killed by men. From Jane Cholmeley, Silver Moon Women’s Bookshop, London.”

Jane, Jane. What planet are you from? Loonies like you do more harm to the cause of equality than a million weeks of PMT madness ever could. All men are not rapists and the probable reason that you can’t find a nice man to settle down with is because you’re a boot-faced old harridan with bad breath and too many cats.

And what’s a women’s bookshop anyway? How does it differ from a normal bookshop? Perhaps there are shelves devoted to ironing techniques and advanced sock-darning. I’ll have to ask Mrs Beelzebub.


Has Mr Blah abolished the legal process while I’ve not been looking? I ask because hot on the heels of the Hamilton saga – evidence heard from both sides, due deliberation by the national media and then declared innocent by The Sun – comes the case of Michael Barrymore and the man who was invited for a length in his swimming pool.

Barrymore legged it to Arizona immediately after the event to spend two months wallowing in self-pity in a celebrity clinic. Now he’s now back playing the tormented soul and is planning a television interview with Martin Bashir so he can “do a Diana” on prime time TV.

Hang on. Isn’t there a body floating around here somewhere? A man has died in circumstances about as suspicious as they can get and a criminal investigation has been underway for months. The pursuit of justice will not be helped by a central suspect coming over all tormented and tearful on the telly.

I could say more, but there’s a nervous lawyer sitting in the corner wringing his hands. Pip, pip!

BARRY BEELZEBUB
The views of Mr Beelzebub are purely personal and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Editor or staff of this newspaper, of the people responsible for those Saga holiday leaflets that fall out of your Sunday papers. The people pictured are supposed to be old, not impossibly glamorous. Not one of them smells of wee and rambles on about powdered egg. Get a grip.

Back to the Barry Beelzebub Index