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Both dangerous and a genius

A weekly column reproduced from the Bristol Evening Post


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How many of you actually watched the Brass Eye spoof programme about paedophilia? One thousand of you? Two thousand?

The total audience for the first showing was only 1.5 million, a pitiful number, even for late night Channel Filth (copyright, Daily Mail.) But to read this week’s newspapers, you’d think that at least 25 million people tuned in, most of them with their children alongside them on the sofa.

Get real. The vast majority of those of us who tuned in did so knowing full well what to expect from Chris Morris. The man is both dangerous and a genius.

(Perhaps the most remarkable fact of this whole story is that he once worked for BBC local radio, the aural Valium of the airwaves. He was sacked for making noises during a news bulletin. Snoring, probably.)

So you can’t tell me that hundreds of innocent grannies accidentally stumbled across this programme only to be shocked and horrified by what they saw. The only “dissidents” who would have watched it were the professional complainers. And complain they did.

Then the politicians spotted a mid-summer bandwagon and hauled themselves on board. Only they hadn’t watched it either. Leading the attack was child protection minister Beverley Hughes, who branded the programme “unspeakably sick.” Only she hadn’t watched it.

Another politician said to be “dismayed” by Brass Eye was David Blunkett, the Home Secretary. Only he hadn’t watched it. For one thing, he’s blind. More pertinently, he’s in Majorca.

The truth of the matter is that Brass Eye was an extremely funny satire on the knee-jerk reactions and blatant hypocrisy that this subject generates in the media. It also exposed the sheer stupidity of some celebrities and politicians who are prepared to read out whole sentences of nonsense if it means that they’re going to get their mugs on the telly.

The thickest people on television last week weren’t Brian and Helen in the Big Brother house. They were Gary Lineker, Phil Collins, Philippa Forrester and their mates, who happily read out statements like “computer games can make your children smell like hammers.” Yes, “hammers.”

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