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In fact I'd sooner face the combined wrath of Al Axa plus Crafthole Lutheran Church Restoration Fund Trust Committee than a single, wronged pet owner.

In my early days as a junior reporter on a weekly newspaper I wrote a photograph caption about the local dog show in which I described the small, white dog in the picture as a small, white dog called Francis, winner of a cross-breed class.

Oh, calamity.

Within minutes of the paper coming out, the dog's owner was on the phone, demanding to speak to the 'idiot reporter who wrote the caption on Page 3'.

As soon as the switchboard heard the words 'idiot reporter' they knew to whom she needed to speak.

The irate woman, a Mrs Stump, ranted for five minutes. Far from being a 'little white dog', her pet was a pure-bred miniature poodle and female – the name was Frances – and had won a pedigree class. She demanded a correction in the next issue.

This I duly banged out on the typewriter (younger readers should know that this was like a computer, but with an integral printer and minus the screen).

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