We were reminded of these headlines actually appeared in newspapers recently - though not all in the regional press!
Thanks to our contributor Sarah Elliott from This Is Exeter (sorry - we couldn't let you remain anonymous!).
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts SayInclude Your Children When Baking CookiesPolice Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersDrunks Get Nine Months in Violin CaseIraqi Head Seeks ArmsIs There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?Prostitutes Appeal to PopePanda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverBritish Left Waffles on Falkland IslandsTeacher Strikes Idle KidsClinton Wins Budget; More Lies AheadPlane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe ToldMiners Refuse to Work After DeathJuvenile Court to Try Shooting DefendantStolen Painting Found by TreeLocal High School Dropouts Cut in HalfWar Dims Hope for PeaceIf Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a WhileCouple Slain; Police Suspect HomicideMan Struck by Lightning Faces Battery ChargeNew Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test GroupAstronaut Takes Blame for Gas in SpaceKids Make Nutritious SnacksTwo Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout CounterTyphoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds DeadIf you've seen a headline or a news report - good, bad or bizarre - that you think deserves a wider audience, fax it to us, marked for the attention of Patrick Astill, on 01332 253027.
Back to the funny index