A regional daily columnist dipped in to his “howlers” file to provide readers with some funny headlines and phrases that he kept from being exposed to its readership over the years.
The Derby Telegraph’s Pete Pheasant, pictured left, found his “little treasure chest” compiled over many years as a sub-editor and proof-reader, featuring ambiguities such as “Cows are more likely to attack walkers than bulls, jury told” and “The Model Railway Club is welcoming miniature railway enthusiasts”.
Pete’s column contains a list of more than 20 gaffes and unwitting errors he managed to sub out of being published during his career.
Although he added that a headline about a “pubic inquiry” had once been printed.
He wrote: “It’s a file I’ve kept over many years as a newspaper sub-editor and proof-reader.
“‘Subs, as they’re known in the trade, are the people tasked with designing pages, making reporters’ stories fit the space allocated for them, making sure they’re accurate and grammatical and spotting potential libels that could land their bosses in court.
“Newspaper production is one mad rush and what might seem OK when written in the race to a deadline might be misinterpreted or look silly in cold print, with a wrong word chosen or a sentence poorly constructed.
“Even with sub-editors and page-proofers in place, howlers slip through.
“One colleague still shudders at the memory of calling the then health secretary, in a headline in 96-point capitals, ‘Virgina Bottomley’.
“It was spotted on the press and changed. Another was not so lucky when his headline about a ‘pubic inquiry’ reached a puzzled readership.”
Pete’s full column and list can be read here.
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>“Even with sub-editors and page-proofers in place, howlers slip through.
And it is just the nature of the job that no one knows or appreciates that you have caught a hundred howlers that day, but everyone notices the one you miss.
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. . which is as it should be.
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What a tame list
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Regular in death notices is ‘memories of a very dead dad’ and then there was the showstopper that resulted in a front page apology: ‘his insolence will be long lasting’. No doubt typeset by someone under the influence, har, har.
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Perhaps Pete would like to consider these.
Last chance to enter Miss Nantwich (Chester Chronicle)
Congratulations Norma and Ted on your engagement. Good fuck.
(Chronicle and Echo, Northampton)
Barry Lines dashed down the left wing and shat over the bar from 20 yards. (also Chronicle and Echo)
Book early for disappointment (ad in Cornish weekly)
Rape at Dick’s Point (Caribbean daily)
All set for the daily grind (caption heading on pic of two girls standing next to a millstone)
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I swore eternal gratitude to one (now sadly departed, but very much missed) sub after writing that a council official had retired after 24 “hours” in his job, not years …
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There was an ad man in Norfolk who had a vast collection of these in an almost mythical scrapbook full of published howlers including “……if the situation changes I will look a tit” and My personal favourite about a wrongly convicted man ” tears of joy as Mycock set free”
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“Strap on village is a concern”
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