NUDE FOOTIE: Police were called to playing fields at Cheltenham at 4am after a caller reported six men playing football in the nude, the Gloucestershire Echo told its readers.

There was no sign of anyone by the time officers arrived, and Acting Detective Inspector Andy Christopher told the paper: “We’re assuming they were revellers.”

WHERE DID I PUT THAT BOMB?: Emergency plans for a mass evacuation were made after a 78-year-old woman called police to say she had just remembered that she had unearthed an unexploded bomb in her garden – 23 years before.

Searches by the bomb disposal unit and the Explosive Ordnance Disposal failed to find the device which the woman said she had covered with earth back in 1977 and forgotten all about until she came to do a garden make-over.

Baffled experts tried to find three neighbours who the pensioner said had also seen the bomb in 1977. But one had died, the second had left the country and the third was said to be in the pub and unable to remember anything, reported the Grimsby Evening Telegraph.

Eventually the “bomb” was revealed to be the remains of an air raid shelter.

LEEK LOVER DEFENDS HIS WEBSITE: Stung by jokes from Radio One DJ Chris Moyles about his website and webcam devoted to the Staffordshire town of Leek, Internet enthusiast Tony Smith has invested in new equipment, the Stoke Sentinel reported.

www.leekonline.co.uk features news and information about the town and until recently had a web camera on Haywood Street focused on the pedestrian crossing. Tony, who runs the website as a hobby and because he loves his home town so much, has now invested in a new camera which can pan across Haywood Street and look towards the Smithfield Shopping Centre.

TORTOISE MYSTERY: The South Wales Evening Post has been abuzz with the mystery of the Brynmill aviary tortoise.

Swansea Council decided to close the 90-year-old aviary last month, which prompted Mrs Cynthia Arnold to ask for the return of a family pet tortoise donated to the aviary 30 years ago. But the tortoise is missing, and a parks officer has claimed there is no record of it being donated.

Now a local man has come forward to say he saw the tortoise there just two weeks ago when he took his grandchild to the aviary.

UP THE POLE: A policeman climbed a flag pole 80 ft from the ground to track down two burglars who led police across shop rooftops in Dudley, the Wolverhampton Express and Star reported.

Two months earlier, the same officer had fallen 30 ft on to a metal spike as he chased a burglary suspect.

This time, he returned safely to the ground after his efforts helped fellow officers to arrest two teenagers.

UNUSUAL GRAVES FIND: A school trip to First World War battlefields in northern France resulted in three students finding the graves of relatives.

The Cambridge Evening News reported that cousins Sophie Hirsch and Miriam Lloyd-Evans carried out research on the Internet before the trip which led them to find the grave of their great-great uncle.

As the students paid their respects, two other pupils found that they had relatives, killed in the Battle of the Somme, buried in the same row of the Meaulte cemetery.

BIG ENTRANCE FOR BLUNKETT: The Bath Chronicle led page one of its newspaper with the story of Education Secretary David Blunkett’s dramatic arrival at a local primary school.

The Minister turned up riding pillion on a Harley Davidson motorbike – bought as a Christmas present for writer Bel Mooney, with whom he was staying.

But the official Government Jaguar which Mr Blunkett usually uses was not abandoned altogether. It followed behind the bike to transport Mr Blunkett’s guide dog Lucy.

WARM WELCOME FOR LORD MAYOR: There was a particularly friendly welcome for the new Lord Mayor of Leicester – Councillor Barbara Chambers – when she made one of her first official visits to the Leicester Mercury offices.

Her late husband, Alan, who died of cancer in March, used to work at the newspaper.

The paper reported that Councillor Chambers’ daughter Heather will be Lady Mayoress.

SHADES OF BASIL FAWLTY: A court case in the Aberdeen Evening Express told how a student was fined a total of £650 after shouting at his car.

The man admitted breaking the peace by shouting and swearing, resisting arrest by two police constables and failing to give two breath specimens.

NOT SO TRIVIAL: Former journalist and school teacher Brian Highley has been living in the past to create almost 250,000 questions for all the UK versions of the board game Trivial Pursuit over the past 14 years.

His latest venture, the Exeter Express & Echo reported, was to compile 1,800 questions for a special 1980s edition of the game to be released soon.

The brain teasers cover everything from Margaret Thatcher to Cabbage Patch dolls, and Brian – from Devon – hopes it will lead to a series of editions on different decades.

MOUNTIES GET THEIR WOMAN: Canadian-born Mabel Woodley was guest of honour of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police at the Devon County Show, reported the Exeter Express & Echo.

She wore the jacket which belonged to her father when he was in the Mounties from 1914 to 1919.

“They even lent me a hat to complete the outfit,” said Mabel (78).

THERE’S A POINT TO IT: From Medway Today comes the news that Micky Gooch will be attempting to break his own world record for one-fingered press-ups on a coconut at a charity fun day in Walderslade on Bank Holiday Monday. The event will raise money for a learning centre for youngsters with cerebral palsy.

HEIFER HOOFS IT: The phrase “bull in a china shop” rang bells with workers in a North Wales shoe shop. They had to contend with a seven-month-old calf which made a bid for freedom on route to a nearby cattle auction.

The Western Mail reported that the heifer smashed through the shop window – in the market town of Mold – caused a bit of chaos and then crashed out again, hitting a parked bus before being re-captured.

The heifer was still sold later that day and is now said to be recovering at its new farm home.

BABY BOOM IS BREWING: A battered old brown teapot is being blamed for a baby boom in Portsmouth.

Twelve of the 25 mums, who enjoy a regular cuppa from the pot at a mothers and toddlers’ group in the city, have become pregnant in the past ten months, according to local evening title The News.

Melanie Jeffrey, who is expecting a baby in September, said: “Every time I come here I wonder who will be the next person to fall victim to the tea.”

SAVE MY OLD SHIPMATE: Guernsey’s former Lt-Governor, Sir John Coward, is leading a campaign to stop one of the last Chinese laundrymen in the Royal Navy being deported from Britain.

The Guernsey Press reported that Sir John is backing Yan King ‘Tony’ Wong, who lives in Plymouth with his English wife and 15-year-old daughter, who won the South Atlantic Medal for his role in the Falklands conflict.

A Home Office Minister has told Mr Wong his application to stay in Britain has been refused “because of his failure to provide satisfactory evidence that he and his wife intended to live permanently together”.

Sir John said it was “an absolute disgrace” that officialdom was picking on a man who had done so much for his country.

THE WRONG TROUSERS ARE ALL RIGHT: A Leicestershire hospital is planning a fund-raising day which will raise eyebrows among the fashion police.

The Leicester Mercury reported that Wallace and Gromit’s Wrong Trousers Appeal will see thousands of people putting on bell bottoms and spandex strides for the day on July 7 to raise cash for the Leicester Royal Infirmary Children’s Hospital.

BUYER COMES A CROC-A: A man who bought what he thought was a lizard for £2
0 in a pub soon realised he had bitten off more than he could chew.

The creature turned out to be a South African cayman, a close relative of the crocodile, the Cambridge News reported.

The man dumped it on friends, who called in the RSPCA. An inspector told the paper that the creature could grow to eight feet in length and said it was ridiculous that such animals could be bought in this country. The cayman is expected to go to a specialist wildlife centre.

BOMB OVERBOARD: A boat mechanic found an unexploded Second World War bomb after dropping his spanner in the Oxford Canal.

John Parkinson (57) lowered a magnet on a piece of string into the murky water and pulled out the 18-inch-long bomb, believed to have been jettisoned by a bomber returning from a raid on the Midlands, or a stray which fell short of munition works at Cowley. The Oxford Mail reported that John carried the mud-caked bomb, which contained 11lbs of high explosive, across College Cruisers’ yard in Jericho and put it under a bucket, then called the police. The device was blown up by Army bomb disposal experts.

FUR TRIAL: Magistrates hearing a case in Gloucester began the proceedings by inspecting five defrosted and “rather smelly” sheep pelts, The Citizen reported.

The pelts were laid out in front of the courthouse and were inspected for identifiable markings which the prosecution hoped would prove a theft charge against a family of three. Reporting on the family’s acquittal, the paper used a picture of a beat bobby inspecting the pelts, with the caption kicker: “Fleece officer”.

POINT MADE: A meeting held to discuss the problem of young rowdies was disrupted – when the teenagers gatecrashed it.

The Western Daily Press told how 20 youngsters tried to force their way in and sabotage the meeting in Melksham. Residents had called the meeting to discuss the problem of youths hanging around the streets and causing trouble. The police and local councillors had not been invited, so that people could feel free to vent their frustration, but a community policeman was present and helped to eject the troublemakers.

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