SURF-INN THE NET: One of England’s oldest pubs – Nottingham’s famous Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem – has set up its own website.

The Nottingham Evening Post reported on the ancient inn’s step into the 21st century and told how the first visitor to log on was the Sheriff of Nottingham.

The pub is thought to date back to 1189. Its website can be found at www.triptojerusalem.com

GENEROUS TO A FAULT: A Radio DJ was suspended after giving away £1,000 without telling his bosses, the Lancashire Evening Telegraph has reported.

The “drivetime” show presenter on Lancashire’s Rock FM station handed out the cash prize to a lucky caller while his bosses were in a meeting. The paper reported that his explanation was that he was having a good day and he didn’t think it would matter.

WHAT’S IN A NAME: Also from the Lancashire Evening Telegraph comes the story of Burnley FC fans Gillian and Ray Welch, who 25 years ago named their son David Stevenson Ingham Brennan Newton Noble Waldron Thompson Flynn Rodaway Hankin Fletcher Collins James Welch after the club’s 1975 team.

Now David has threatened to ditch the names in favour of Burnley’s arch rivals Blackburn, which based on the current line-up could give him a name like David Kelly McAteer Short Dailly Davidson Dunn Carsley Flitcroft Duff Burgess Ward Welch.

His mum told the paper: “David has always kept quiet about his unusual name. He had to list it when he joined the Army and I think this is his way of winding us up. I don’t know if he will go through with it. It’s all a bit of light-hearted fun.”

EASTER LAUNCH FOR MINISTER: Starting on Easter Sunday, a Gloucestershire Baptist chapel will transmit its morning services live on the Internet.

Rev John Lewis told the Gloucester Citizen: “What we are doing is exploiting the latest technological advances to proclaim the Gospel, just as William Tyndale did when he used the printing press to publish the first English translation of the New Testament in the 16th century.”

The site is at www.gorsleychapel.co.uk

HEBBURN HELP US: Struggling Saturday football team Hebburn Wardles is on course to finish the season with no points.

The team has conceded 166 goals during 20 games in the Dunsford Business Supplies Tyne and Wear League – including one whopping 16-0 defeat.

The players have managed two draws, but remain pointless after being docked two points for being unable to field a full team in one match.

Now they have appealed for new players through the Shields Gazette.

Optimistic team manager John Simpson says: “There’s still two games to go this season and we will be concentrating on trying to win at least one of them.”

HE’S A NATURAL: Leicester’s Lord Mayor Councillor Phil Swift felt quite at home opening a national nudist swimming gala in the city because, he told the Leicester Mercury, he is a member of British Naturism.

Wearing his official garb, Councillor Swift said: “I would have had no problem participating in the event if I was being invited unofficially. But I have to be mindful of the dignity of the office.

“And besides, where would I hang my chain?”

GOOD GRIEF: From the Yorkshire Evening Post comes the story of a Leeds city centre church which has put two life-size naked figures on display for two weeks.

The scupltures, described as “powerful and disturbing”, have been created by Rev Toddy Hoare. Called His Grief and Her Grief, they are meant to represent emotions of betrayal, grief and loss from the Good Friday story and are currently displayed either side of the central aisle in Holy Trinity Church.

HOPELESS OF HARROGATE: Also from the YEP comes the tale of a bungling robber who:

• chose to hold up a building society where he was a well-known customer;
• stared straight at the security camera after jumping on the counter;
• failed to pull his disguise hood over his head;
• fired his imitation pistol which popped like a child’s cap gun at the ceiling.

After escaping on foot with a bag of money after 36 seconds inside the branch, he hailed a taxi as a getaway car. He spent some of the money on a BMW car – and was then arrested for driving it without a tax disc.

He was jailed for five-and-a-half years after the judge told him: “There had not been much planning and you were bound to be caught”.

PULLING POWER: Landlord Andy Holmes never misses a Manchester City match – even though he lives 3,000 miles away in America’s deep South.

Andy (33) calls time in his bar in Savannah whenever City are playing and listens to live commentary – by calling England and getting his parents or a friend to hold the phone next to a radio.

Andy’s obsession is featured in the Manchester Evening News. He told reporter Terry Houston that he was desperate for a ticket to City’s crucial match against Birmingham on April 28 but would be throwing a party come what may.

“I’ve been busy buying records with the world ‘blue’ in the title. I also plan to put food colouring in the beer to make it blue so we can serve blue beer all night.”

GRAND GESTURE: An engineering firm put up £1,000 for nicotine patches to help wean workers off the weed.

Radshape offered to foot the bill for a month’s supply of patches ahead of introducing a ban on smoking at its plant in Aston, Birmingham. Nearly half the staff smoke and bosses feared they would react badly if their nicotine fix was interrupted.

Marketing chief Peter Grant told the Birmingham Evening Mail: “A lot of people took it posivitively, even if they were not successful.”

NUTS FOR A RECORD: Self-confessed nutter Micky Gooch aims to push his way to a new world record by doing 20 one-fingered press-ups…on a coconut.

The 43-year-old painter and decorator, from Chatham, hopes to get into the Guinness Book of Records, as well as raising money for Kent Association for Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus, with the stunt on May 6.

He told Medway Today that he trained by doing 400-500 one-fingered press-ups a day.

LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER…An amazing coincidence has left a Coventry family claiming a unique treble, with son, mother and grandmother sharing the same birthday.

Debbie Dunphy was born on her mother’s 23rd birthday. Now, Debbie has given birth to a son – on her 33rd birthday.

“It was certainly not something we planned!” Debbie told the Coventry Evening Telegraph.

‘EAR ‘EAR TO THAT: A University of Plymouth researcher is training “homing fish” in a move which could revolutionise fish-farming and even help to scare sharks away from bathing beaches.

The Plymouth Evening Herald has reported that postgraduate student and part-time lecturer Jonathan Lovell’s work at the Institute of Marine Studies has shown that fish can be trained to respond to a sound sent by a special microphone underneath the waves. He plans to take his reasearch on to the open seas later this year.

BIGGS AND THE BARD: Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs has donated £20 to a Sheffield scrap merchant-turned-poet who has published a booklet of his verse to raise funds for the city’s St Luke’s Hospice, reveals local evening paper The Star.

Fred Pass (58) hoped to raise £500 through selling the booklets at £1 a time. But he has so far raised £7,000 including the donation from Biggs which was sent to Fred via an advertising agency.

LIFE BAN BEGINS AT 40: Stephen Weldon celebrated his 40th birthday with team mates from successful pub football team, Masons Arms Over-40s. But someone blew the whistle when the celebrations made them realise that Stephen was only 39 and nine months when he made his debut for the team in the premier division of the Ashley Air Products Over-40s League in County
Durham.

Now, says the Northern Echo, Stephen and team manager Maurice Flint have been given life bans from the league and fined; the team has been docked 24 points – relegating them to the league’s division one; they have been stripped of the Villa Real Trophy even though Stephen did not play in the final and they have been banned from another upcoming cup final. An appeal is being considered.

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