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Football not for girls?Reporter Neil finds out the hard way!

Ilford Recorder sports reporter Neil Trainis is the star striker and top scorer at Essex Sunday Combination side Willson Sports.
His newsroom colleague is hot-shot Hannah Benjamin, who has been banging in the goals for Barking Ladies this season.
Here’s his report of how the Archant news ataff got on when they came face-to-face in the battle of the sexes.


Hannah, a news reporter for the Recorder and centre forward for Barking Ladies Football Club, has reluctantly agreed to do a feature on her team at the Jo Richardson Community School in Dagenham, where they train.

I am the guinea pig (or rather the blindingly ignorant, impressionable, reporter hungry for stories) for this experiment and to be honest, the prospect of facing Hannah head on in a kind of battle of the sexes does not fill me with great comfort, particularly as some of my colleagues have taken immense pleasure in winding her up.

It seems I am to be subjected to all her pent up frustration.

‘Maybe she is above all of this,’ I think to myself. ‘Maybe she can take it. She’s a big girl. It’ll all be okay.’

Suddenly, I feel better about things and I am consoled with the thought that this feature will run smoothly.

“Don’t listen to them Hannah,” I say.

  • Neil joins Barking Ladies for a training session. Photo: Jules Dann
  • I get the nasty feeling my belated attempt to soothe her irritation has failed miserably though, but as we climb into her car, I see her anguished expression has disappeared. Suddenly, all my hopes are raised.

    As we pull out of the car park, she smiles and says: “When a few of the team heard a reporter from the paper was coming down, I could tell they were looking forward to it. Just to warn you in advance.”

    Looking forward to it! Warn me! They were words that sent a wrecking ball crashing through my flimsy confidence. My head starts spinning at a million miles per hour. ‘Don’t jump to conclusions. She’s only joking,’ the voice inside my head says.

    We arrive at the school and I see a few of her team-mates sitting in the foyer. They see me and start giggling.

    ‘Oh boy. Perhaps she wasn’t joking after all,’ it says. I’m a nervous wreck when Barking Ladies manager Steve Bernet walks through the door. A wave of relief sweeps over me. For once, I feel glad to see a man among so many women.

    We stride out towards the five-a-side pitches and Jules, the newspaper photographer and another girl, wants to get a couple of group pictures.

    ‘Painless. No problem,’ I think. She wants to get me lying across the ground in front of the team. Fine. Nothing wrong with that. It will be a doddle.

    “Right. I want you girls to put your feet on him, almost like you’re stamping on him, but obviously not stamping on him,” Jules laughs as I lie there. I feel I am paying for the sins of others.

    “You go in goal Neil and let Hannah take some shots at you,” Jules insists a few minutes later. Hannah does not need to be asked twice. She grabs a ball, places it on the ground, takes a couple of steps back, runs up and unleashes a shot that crashes into the top corner.

    I am left rooted to the spot, as I am on the next five attempts Hannah has at goal. I take charge and decide that Hannah and myself will engage in a spot of one-on-one tackling. I throw the ball to Hannah, who controls it on her instep, balances it on her foot and flicks it up before trapping it on the way down.

    I move towards her and try to stab a leg at the ball but I end up swiping at thin air as she whips it away.

    This ignominy goes on for a few minutes, in which time I hardly get a glimpse of that blasted ball.

    I take control again (not of the ball, of the situation) and suggest I face a few more shots.

    I’m determined to save at least one, but as Hannah rockets the ball into the bottom corner for the umpteenth time, I think to myself, ‘I wish those who poured scorn on her, and women’s football, were here now!’