AddThis SmartLayers

Unidentified Headline 98

A weekly column reproduced from the Bristol Evening Post


Page 2 of 2

For a start, 95 per cent of them don’t even have passports, so we can hardly describe them as knowledgable in the ways of the world. They were even beating up Sikhs yesterday. And whenever they get involved in a conflict, they seem to end up shooting themselves. Or, more often, us.

It wouldn’t be so bad, but the very people they’re now committed to killing are the very same people who they armed and financed when the Russians were trying to move into Afghanistan. What ye sow, as the vicar would say, if he wasn’t on the run from angry husbands.

And then there’s George Dubya. I’ve tried to like him; I’ve tried to admire him. Unfortunately, there’s only one conclusion. He isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the box. At times he makes Tyrone Dobbs look like an intellectual.

And another thing. The classic American response to any local difficulty more than 3,000 miles away from the White House is to try to broker a peace process. They’re obsessed with doing it in the Middle East. They tried to do it in Ireland (where, frankly, it was none of their damn business.)

But once they’re the victims, any thoughts of a negotiated solution goes out of the window. They want retribution and they want it now. Well sorry, George, but this is how it feels.

The Americans I’ve spoken since last week’s tragic events are genuinely shocked to find out that their country, of which they are inordinately proud, appears to be the most reviled in the world. So why not take this opportunity to find out why and to repair some of the perceived damage?

I know it’s hard to turn the other cheek, but the alternative scenario of a religious war consuming half of the globe is simply too terrible to contemplate.

Normal service will be resumed next week, Allah willing.

BARRY BEELZEBUB
The views of Mr Beelzebub are purely personal and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Editor or staff of this newspaper, or of anyone who isn’t keeping a tea towel and a copy of the Koran under the bed just in case.

Back to the Barry Beelzebub Index