All wind and waffle?
by Graham Smith

Page 3 of 3

Monkey business up the pole!
Laugh, it’s enough to make you wet your cassock.

An Austrian monastery has installed a firemen’s pole to make sure monks get to prayers on time. The head of the monastery came up with the idea when renovations left little room for a staircase. The fire brigade installed it and now the Holy brethren are never late for prayers.

I am trying not to laugh but two lengths had to be welded together and the head monk or whatever he’s called, said: ” Plunging seven metres in two seconds is a great way to start the day.” Excuse me I have to go to the bathroom.

Fly me to the moon
Plans are being drawn up to send mice into orbit on board their own love-mobile where they can have low gravity sex.

It could be put into orbit for two months which is enough time for the occupants to reproduce and for their offspring to grow into adulthood. The craft would then be brought back to Earth and the twisted boffins could decide if low gravity had affected the development of the young mice.

The flight could take place as early as 2003 aboard a tiny capsule which simulates Martian gravity. The Mars society, they make nice chocolate too, hopes to launch the experiment for as little as £1.4 million. Now when I was a kid you could buy a hell of a lot of mice in our local pet shop for that money.

Serves them right if when they open the spacecraft they are confronted by eight-foot tall rodents with antennae which would make next door’s moggy run a mile.

Graham Smith can be contacted by e-mail at [email protected] or by phone on 07092 103738, for ideas about having a laugh at life, internationally, nationally, regionally or locally.

Do you have a story about the regional press? Ring 0116 227 3122/3121, or
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