Singing condoms and golden sausages
by Graham Smith

Page 2 of 3

Short changed
An Australian is suing a surgeon after an operation to enhance his manhood left it painful, deformed and three centimetres shorter.

The surgeon says the patient should have known the risks involved because he had already had thousands of pounds worth of facial surgery. Where the hell had he stitched the damned thing?

On the water rates
Continuing the cultured theme of this week’s column have you heard that Cheltenham is introducing open air urinals to stop people peeing in the street?

The mobile urinals are known as Kros units and resemble the French pissoirs. What I want to know is will they have a dispenser for singing condoms?

Toni is a bad speler
So old Tone our beloved Prime Minister cannot spell.

He is not alone. This week he spelled tomorrow wrong twice, toomorrow he put. He was rightly ticked off by the popular Press but have you noticed some of the appalling spelling these days. I spotted one outside a bookies offering odds on “Ipswish” in bold letters. I was tempted to nip in and put a couple of quid on. Eech whey of course.

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