Everything’s dafter in Texas
by Graham Smith

Page 2 of 3

Sorry, I digress. Back to the Yanks. A unique wind-proof beach towel has been tested to withstand significantly strong winds.

But the manufacturers warn that during a hurricane their product should not be used to secure yourself or anything of value!

I like the hairdryer which they say should not be used while sleeping and have unlasting admiration for the bathroom heater company which recommended that their bathroom heater “should not be used in bathrooms”.

The underarm deodorant which “should not be sprayed in the eyes”, the list is endless.

Goodbye Annie
By the time you read this Anne Robinson will be hosting her horrendous show The Weakest Link on the other side of the Atlantic, if someone hasn’t strangled her first.

Hasn’t she the kind of face you’d never tire of throwing custard pies at?

Like myself, Ann’s an old hack who learned her trade poking shafts of wit through the columns of a national newspaper. Then she moved on to Watchdog, she was the Rottweiler with the glasses, and then of course The Weakest Link.

All right so I’m told it’s part of the fun but she enjoys being rude to people and obviously has a highly graded O level in being so.

If the smarmy beggar speaks to the Americans like that there must be every chance she ends up back in front of a watchdog… minced in its supper.

Magic roundabouts
Have you fallen foul of one of those infuriating little pimples which pass for roundabouts?

They are lethal. Where I come from one is passing into folklore for the amount of fun, road rage and sheer lunacy it has caused. You’ve seen them, a raised hump painted white. The idea is you drive around them in a clockwise direction, some people actually do, but many treat them with utter contempt.

If you have SAS training you’ll be fine. It’s sort of a “who dares wins” strategy.

Next page…