A weekly column reproduced from the Bristol Evening Post

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Why all the fuss about some woman sailing “around the world”? She’s not been around the world at all. The race was just down to Antarctica and back. That’s not circumnavigating the globe.

Good God, even Tony Bullimore could manage this jaunt. Mind you, he’d probably sink on the way, but that’s a different matter.

I’d have more respect for a woman who could successfully manoeuvre a motor vehicle between two white lines in Tesco’s car park. Or one who could iron shirts properly and not moan when they’re sent back as substandard.

That’s the trouble with women. They bleat on about equality, but then expect to be treated differently when they actually achieve anything.

No, love. It’s not exceptional to navigate from Bristol to Bath without reference to a map. Men do it all the time.

Let them join the Army and look what happens. They either run off with the sergeant major or strip off for Page 3 of The Sun. It must be hell at Aldershot. I bet you can’t move without some squaddie thrusting her baps in your face.

And now officers in the armed forces are going to be put on performance-related pay, with the criteria being their commitment to Ministry of Defence’s “corporate values”, including equal opportunities policy, racial diversity and budget priorities.

Has the world gone mad? I don’t want our soldiers worrying about whether or not they’ve got enough black women in their platoon or if they can afford another clip of bullets.

I want them out there killing people. It’s what they do. It’s what they’re good at. If the MoD wants performance-related pay, they should have a productivity bonus for the number of enemy bodies.

“Shoot an Argie and win a Metro”, as The Sun once didn’t say. It’s the same principle.

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